Health, Fashion, Parenting and Women Related Issues

Here are 10 things that no one ever tells you about becoming a parent, but that you definitely need to know:

There’s no job description for the job of parent.

Can you imagine agreeing to take on a job for which there was no job description, no orientation program, no training program, no performance review process—in other words, none of the usual bells and whistles that we have come to expect in a typical employment situation? That’s what parenting is like. It’s the ultimate fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants experience. Until you’re on the job, you have no idea what the job involves or how difficult it really is, which explains why so many of us end up applying for the job in the first place!

There’s no such thing as “the perfect age.”

You often hear parents talk about how much they are looking forward to their kids reaching such-and-such an age because it’s “the perfect age.” Well, there really is no such thing. Every age comes with its own unique mix of joys and challenges.

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Although society’s take on only children—that is, children with no siblings—has progressed a great deal, stereotypes about only children being selfish, spoiled and egocentric social misfits still abound. Fortunately, we’re also getting the other side of the story—that being raised as an only child can be a blessing. Studies have shown that only children generally have excellent verbal skills and tend to score highly on intelligence tests—the result of spending so much time in the company of adults. As an added bonus, they also tend to have exceptionally close relationships with their parents that continue well into adulthood.

There are, of course, a few drawbacks to having only one child. Only children often feel more pressure to succeed, knowing that their parents have all their eggs in one basket. It’s easy for them to fast-forward through childhood at an unusually rapid pace because they spend so much of their time with their parents and other adults. They miss out on the unique interplay between siblings. Read more

Maybe it’s a personality clash, differing values, an age and experience gap or just bad manners… but some parents can be an emotional drain when all you want is your child to have a fun-filled playdate. Understanding what to say or do in those situations can make a world of difference.

Know your sore spots. There are times when certain people can be mildly annoying, and other times when they can be downright upsetting. When that happens, chances are that terribly annoying person has simply stepped on one of your “sore spots”. Sore spots for most parents revolve primarily around two areas—self-esteem and control. So anyone who makes you feel insecure in some way or who limits your sense of control can be very upsetting. For example, if another Mom gives off an “I know best” attitude, and seems to challenge you on your parenting style, you will get more agitated with her as you become less confident (and let’s face it, every parent has some confidence issues). Diminished confidence is not a sign that you lack skill; it is primarily a sign of a strong desire to have things go right and to avoid mistakes.

Good parents always wonder if they are doing the best they can, so any criticism from the outside is easy to take to heart, no matter how unjustified it might be. So if you run up against an “I know best” mom, take her words with a grain of salt and be willing to simply respond “But I’ve found that my way works best with my child.” Read more

There’s no denying it: Parents and grandparents don’t always see eye to eye on important issues like discipline, feeding or safety. Here’s what you need to prevent minor disagreements from exploding into full-blown intergenerational warfare.

Be prepared for an outpouring of advice—both good and bad. Most grandparents feel this powerful need to share all the wisdom they accumulated during their own time in the parenting trenches. Unfortunately, they may not recognize the fact that some of their ways of doing things have long since gone the way of the dodo bird (for example, we no longer start toilet training when a baby is one month of age!). Rather than getting freaked out because the advice you’re receiving is wacky or even downright weird, simply accept it in the spirit in which it was offered (with only the best of intentions) and then quietly ignore anything that no longer holds water today.

Don’t be afraid to stand your ground on the issues that really matter. You may need to gently remind your child’s grandparents that you’re the one in charge when it comes to making important parenting decisions. They’ve already had their starring roles in that long-running melodrama known as parenthood. Now you’re the one at center stage. Read more

Given how high the standards are that we set for ourselves as parents, it’s hardly surprising that we sometimes find ourselves flirting with burnout.a

Though parenthood is certainly a job that can wear you out, there are a number of things you can do to recharge your parenting batteries.

Here are a few ideas:

Learn how to spot the early warning signs of parent burnout. If you find yourself becoming obsessed with the frustrations of parenting, second-guessing your parenting decisions most or all of the time, feeling trapped or hopeless, or starting to experience some of the physical symptoms of stress (for example, headaches, heart palpitations, chronic colds or sinus problems, dizziness, nausea and so on), you could be experiencing burnout.

Make a point of keeping up some of your pre-baby interests so that you have something to focus on other than your role as a parent.

Designate part of your home as a child-free zone. That way, you’ll have a small refuge to retreat to if you’re feeling swallowed up by demands of parenthood.

Make sure that you take breaks from your child on a regular basis, even if you have to hire someone to buy yourself a little time away.

Find creative ways to recharge your batteries.

Recognize that some parents face greater parenting challenges than others and, therefore, face a greater risk of burnout.