Health, Fashion, Parenting and Women Related Issues

Although society’s take on only children—that is, children with no siblings—has progressed a great deal, stereotypes about only children being selfish, spoiled and egocentric social misfits still abound. Fortunately, we’re also getting the other side of the story—that being raised as an only child can be a blessing. Studies have shown that only children generally have excellent verbal skills and tend to score highly on intelligence tests—the result of spending so much time in the company of adults. As an added bonus, they also tend to have exceptionally close relationships with their parents that continue well into adulthood.

There are, of course, a few drawbacks to having only one child. Only children often feel more pressure to succeed, knowing that their parents have all their eggs in one basket. It’s easy for them to fast-forward through childhood at an unusually rapid pace because they spend so much of their time with their parents and other adults. They miss out on the unique interplay between siblings.

Fortunately, there’s plenty you can do to offset some of these drawbacks if you’re parenting an only child:

Accept the fact that your child isn’t a “mini you.” Although all parents tend to fall into this trap to a certain degree, parents of only children are particularly vulnerable to trying to encourage their kids to emulate them. The reason is simple: They have only one kick at the parenting can. If you’re a hockey nut, it’s only natural to want your only child to share that interest, but you have to accept that it’s completely the luck of the draw.

Help your child learn the socialization ropes. Provide your child with plenty of opportunities to socialize with other children as soon as she gets that urge to switch into social butterfly mode, usually around age three. Because she doesn’t have any built-in playmates at home, you’ll need to make a concerted effort to ensure that she has the opportunity to play with other kids on a regular basis—perhaps by enrolling her in a group daycare, family daycare or nursery school program; signing her up for kid-related activities in your community or making regular visits to the local family resource center.

Don’t go overboard with material possessions. Before you fill an entire shopping cart with toys during your next visit to the nearest kid superstore, ask yourself whether you would be buying this amount of stuff for each child if you had four kids to shop for. If the answer is no, you may want to think about whether your child actually needs all this stuff. While we’re talking stuff, here’s another important point to keep in mind: You may have to ask grandparents and others to limit the amount of money they spend on gifts for your child.

Resist the temptation to be overprotective. Being under constant surveillance by overprotective parents isn’t fun for any kid, but it’s a lot less fun if you’re the sole focus of attention. Ease up a little and give your one and only the time and space she needs to blossom into her own person. Besides, the more tightly you try to restrict her every move, the greater the incentive she’ll have to make a jail break once she reaches the teen years.