Health, Fashion, Parenting and Women Related Issues

There’s no denying it: Parents and grandparents don’t always see eye to eye on important issues like discipline, feeding or safety. Here’s what you need to prevent minor disagreements from exploding into full-blown intergenerational warfare.

Be prepared for an outpouring of advice—both good and bad. Most grandparents feel this powerful need to share all the wisdom they accumulated during their own time in the parenting trenches. Unfortunately, they may not recognize the fact that some of their ways of doing things have long since gone the way of the dodo bird (for example, we no longer start toilet training when a baby is one month of age!). Rather than getting freaked out because the advice you’re receiving is wacky or even downright weird, simply accept it in the spirit in which it was offered (with only the best of intentions) and then quietly ignore anything that no longer holds water today.

Don’t be afraid to stand your ground on the issues that really matter. You may need to gently remind your child’s grandparents that you’re the one in charge when it comes to making important parenting decisions. They’ve already had their starring roles in that long-running melodrama known as parenthood. Now you’re the one at center stage.

Remind yourself that—like Rome—grandparents are not built in a day. It may take time for your parents or your partner’s parents to grow into the grandparenting role, particularly if your child is the first grandchild (a.k.a., the guinea pig). Not everyone feels up to the challenge of coping with the cries of a colicky baby or the tantrums of a fiercely determined toddler. Your child’s grandparents may not be comfortable playing anything more than a minor supporting role until your child becomes a tad more civilized.

Recognize that your parents are a generation older than they were when they were raising you. Consequently, they may not be up to a lot of loud noise or rough-and-tumble play.

Count your blessings. It is really a gift to be blessed with exceptionally supportive parents and in-laws (or just one of the two!) Having the support of the older generation can make parenting a whole lot easier.

Remind yourself that having a loving relationship with her grandparents can be a tremendous gift to a child—and vice versa.