Understanding the (Parenting) Difference Between Men and Women

Difference Between Men and Women

There’s a scene in My Fair Lady where an exasperated Professor Henry Higgins wonders aloud, “Why can’t a woman be more like a man?” Well, moms are sometimes guilty of indulging in a little bit of reverse sexism, insisting that dads would be much better parents if only they were more like moms!

Men are not biologically inferior when it comes to raising children; they simply have a different style. Here’s what researchers have identified as the key differences between the two sexes in their interaction with children:

Type of play. Mothers are more likely to introduce toys into play when they’re playing with their children, and fathers are more likely to engage in rough-and-tumble play. (Now there’s a newsflash for you!) The theory is that moms get enough body-to-body contact during pregnancy and breastfeeding, so they’re less inclined to engage in this particular type of play than dads.

Frustration level. Dads are more willing to allow kids to experience a greater amount of frustration than moms are when those children are attempting to master a particular task.

Role of routine. Although mothers tend to be consistent and calm when handling children, dads prefer unpredictable, playful interactions—something that young children find highly stimulating.

Of course, it’s important to bear in mind that mothers and fathers are actually more alike than different in caring for young children. A now-famous study conducted by Michael Lamb of the National Institute of Mental Health in the United States demonstrated that men and women’s automatic nervous system responses to crying babies were virtually identical. In other words, moms don’t have a monopoly on the hard-wiring that compels them to respond to their children’s cries; dads are programmed to be nurturing, too.